As I write this, I still shake my head when I think back about yet another very trying time in my family’s life. As if losing Gary wasn’t bad enough, what happened to Kevin was like pouring salt into an open wound.
Kevin lived for a while in Hong Kong with his de facto wife, whom I will call “Gertrude.” I never warmed to Gertrude because I thought she was never quite good enough for my brother; she was an outrageous flirt, she did not look at you when she talked, and hence did not listen. I just didn’t trust her. Later I discovered I had very good reasons for feeling that way.
Gertrude had told Kevin that she could not have children for medical reasons. She had a fabulous life with my brother, an international airline pilot – this meant she could fly anywhere around the world, and when she wasn’t jet-setting, she was living on my brother’s yacht. Money was no object. Gertrude also had a great job with an international company, so she would often go away herself on trips.
One day in 2005, Kevin phoned to tell me Gertrude was pregnant. He also told me he was concerned that it may not be his baby because for her to be expecting when she was, meant he wasn’t anywhere near her when she must have conceived. Yet despite his initial doubts, he became increasingly excited about the birth.
The birth date finally arrived. Gertrude went back to her home country, halfway around the world, in Spain. Kevin arrived soon after. Things were not good, however, because Gertrude’s parents interfered too much and insisted the baby be christened in Spain -- without inviting Kevin’s own family. My family and I were shocked to discover that the baby had already been christened and we were not even told or invited.
Nonetheless, Kevin took his beautiful baby and Gertrude back to China. My mother and I took off to Hong Kong to spend a couple of weeks with the new family. Without a doubt, Gertrude’s behaviour was very strange. I put it down to post-natal depression. My mum felt the same.
My brother was such a devoted father. He adored and idolized his little baby. I watched his face of pure devotion. Whenever she cried, he was ready to pick her up. At night he would even get up with Gertrude for feeding. My brother was in love! I was very proud of him. She was the sweetest little baby, and I fell in love with her too. But my mother and I had our doubts as to whether she was really Kevin’s baby. Our time ended there, and my mother and I returned home.
One week later my brother rang me in tears. He had argued with Gertrude, then left to do some shopping and run errands. When he returned, Gertrude had gone with the baby back to Spain. She had literally kidnapped his own baby, and he had no idea why. My brother was a mess. He was confused, angry, sad and distraught. The baby he had fallen madly in love with was gone just like that -- snatched away from him and whisked out of the country. She may as well have died.
Kevin flew to Spain to try and sort things out, but Gertrude would not let him alone with the baby, and he was not even invited back to her parents’ house. Even though Kevin had flown all those hours to get to Spain, he had to stay in a hotel, and she would only bring the baby to the hotel, where they would meet outside by the pool. Things were grim.
The next few months I talked to Kevin nearly every day. He remained in Hong Kong, and I was in Sydney. He was extremely upset about the situation and missed the baby so much that some days he would just completely break down. It was a very traumatic time for our whole family. I was so worried, as having already lost a brother, it made it much harder. I knew Kevin would never follow Gary’s path, but I also knew he was under extreme stress. Being a commercial airline pilot is a stressful enough job as it is. This was also during a time when I was struggling with my business, had no money and was under a great deal of stress myself.
It appeared that Gertrude was becoming extremely delusional. She tried to blame Kevin for everything. Kevin’s friends and I conversed, and some of them told me they had doubts as to whether Kevin was actually the father of the baby. Gertrude had been seen kissing another man passionately at a Rugby Sevens game in Hong Kong. She was also frequently entertaining men on the yacht when Kevin was away. Kevin told me he was walking back from work one day down the marina and saw Gertrude drinking champagne topless on another man’s yacht.
Pretty soon, my inventive, cunning mind went to work, and I had hatched a plan. Kevin and I would arrange to travel to the UK, where we would have the baby’s DNA tested. I made arrangements with a DNA lab and was sent a test kit and all the instructions on what to do. I flew to Hong Kong, spent a night with Kevin, and then we both flew to the UK.
We were not looking forward to the task ahead. Both of us were very unhappy and apprehensive about it, but we had to do it. It was indeed the most hellish trip I have ever endured. We had to sit in economy class, squashed between two huge men on either side of us. Most people can put up with those conditions when they are flying on holiday, but we were flying to try and sort out a terrible mess. We were also aware that we were about to commit a very deceitful but necessary act.
Here was the gist of our plan: Somehow, one of us would win the trust of the mother and the first one of us who could get the baby aside would quickly do the DNA test by swabbing inside her mouth with the kit that the DNA company supplied us.
I made enquiries as to the legality of the procedures and was told that as the father, Kevin did not need to have permission to do a DNA test on the baby. Our plan was hatched, and we were on our way with a mission. Nothing was going to let me get back on a plane home without first doing the DNA test. No matter what, I was determined to not leave the UK without it. Luckily for us, by this time Gertrude had moved back to the UK, her home country.
We arrived in London and hired a car to find a place to stay, somewhere in the countryside. We were beginning to feel like undercover detectives, I must say. But by this time we were also both exhausted and depressed. Kevin was losing it, as we couldn’t find a place to stay. Gertrude refused to see us until we were in a hotel somewhere; she and her family would not let us go near their house. It was terribly sad for my brother. I wanted to strangle that woman.
Eventually, after many frustrating hours, we found a hotel not too far away from them. We called them, and they arrived to see us that afternoon. Then all hell broke loose.
It was an unusually hot summer’s day. We all sat outside on the grounds of our hotel. We were surrounded by other people, but Kevin and I did not care who heard the whole, sordid story. I am sure the other guests thought they were on “Candid Camera.”
Gertrude insisted that Kevin was the father after our accusations that he perhaps wasn’t, and finally, after three hours, I managed to persuade her to let him walk his little girl around the grounds. Reluctantly, she agreed only because I pointed out that our car keys, wallets and passports were on the table.
My heart was beating so fast. I knew Kevin wasn’t comfortable having to do the DNA test, and he had to be quick about it. After he was gone for only about 3 minutes, Gertrude became agitated. I assured her he was just spending time with his child, and as his wallet was right there on the table and our car was in sight, that he could not – and would not -- take the baby away.
Kevin returned, and my heart sunk. I thought he looked upset and hadn’t been able to do the test. “Great!” I thought; now I’d have to be the one to do it. So, still carefully looking at Kevin out of the corner of my eye, I asked as innocently as I possibly could if I could take my niece for a walk too. They agreed!
I showed her some flowers and stayed around the family for a bit. Then, I ventured off around the corner, armed with my newly-discovered sleuthing skills. I then quickly bolted into our room, gently put the baby down, and swiftly swabbed inside her mouth with the DNA kit. The baby laughed at me when I swabbed her mouth because it must have tickled a bit. I put the swab in the sealed bag and returned to the group. It took no time at all, but I was shaking. It was quite traumatic to have to do something like that. I didn’t know I had Mission accomplished!
Kevin and I agreed to meet the family later for dinner, after which we went to the post office and registered our DNA test to the lab. The results were to be phoned to me when we were back in Australia. We both felt a great sense of relief, but also quite guilty. We wanted desperately for the baby to be Kevin’s.
This was an extremely tiring and difficult time for us both. Neither of us could understand why Gertrude was being so hostile. After a few days and dinners together, we all went to the zoo one day. I have video of Gertrude and Kevin with the baby that day, looking just like any other couple. The video clearly shows that my brother’s love for this baby is equal to any other adoring father in the world. For this short time, we seemed like a happy family. I liked Gertrude’s mother very much, because she seemed very sensible. Gertrude’s mother wanted the family to be a family, and that day at the zoo, we appeared to be one.
It was a happy day but as usual, after each day, we had to part. At the time we thought nothing of it, but some time went by, and it turned out that we were never invited back to the family home. We felt like a couple of outcasts. Kevin was absolutely convinced the baby was his. He loved her so much. Each night he would sob. He was heartbroken beyond words, and I had to remain strong and supportive even though deep inside, my heart was tearing into pieces as well. I had to make sure that I kept a brave face even though the pressure on me was overwhelming; I could not let him see my stress, because he needed me to be strong.
One morning I rang home to Australia to talk to the girls. I discovered that Grace, then 10, was in hospital with a fractured elbow, which required her to have a general anaesthetic. It was the second fracture she had endured in the same spot. I burst out crying when I got off the phone. The whole sordid mess was really starting to wear me down.
When I spoke to Grace, they had given her a painkiller, so she sounded like she was drunk. I rang my Mum, who was aware of the situation and calmed me down, reassuring me that she was there to help. I knew she would look after Grace whilst Andrew went to work and that Grace would be well-cared-for and probably very spoilt! My mother, bless her, has always been a rock to me in times of crisis.
Kevin and I were left to wonder around this country town that, to us, was a hell hole. We were both used to living in vibrant cities. To have to hang around this place, waiting for Gertrude and Company to finally turn up with the baby, was very frustrating.
On another occasion they said they would meet us at the beach for lunch. Now, to us Sydney folk who are spoilt with our beaches, being on the beach in the English countryside was not very exciting. In fact, it was downright depressing. I don’t mean this as any offence to those who live there, but for us, not being used to this, it was hard. And to add insult to injury, Gertrude kept us waiting for an hour.
Eventually they turned up and we all had lunch, only to be told that we would have to hang around the beach for a couple of hours whilst they went home to change and feed the baby and let her have a nap.
Around this time, I became ill. The stress of all this was really starting to wear me down, so we rang them and told them not to bother. We had a quiet dinner in our hotel, Kevin once again fighting back tears of frustration and sadness.
A few days later, we went to the doctor with Gertrude and her mother to have the baby immunized, only to discover that the baby did not even have Kevin’s surname on the records. We became even more suspicious of the entire situation.
On the day when we had to depart for home, we met Gertrude and Company at a pub and had a pleasant lunch in the garden. I have photos of Kevin and me, adoring the baby. It was very sad for us, though, and I don’t know how my brother held it together. We got into our hired car for the three-hour drive back to London, then on a flight back home, both of us depressed, tired and frustrated.
The trip home was horrendous, but we made the best of it by writing letters to the baby so she would know our side of the story one day, We have kept copies of them until this day.
Upon our arrival, I stayed the night in Hong Kong with Kevin. He had moved back onto the yacht and had rented out the apartment. We watched television, had a few glasses of wine, and retired. I enjoyed sleeping on the yacht, hearing the splash of the water gently caressing the hull. It was raining, so I opened up the hatch to let the odd splash of rain drop onto my head.
By the next morning, those few drops of rain had turned into a torrential downpour; we had to struggle to get our luggage and ourselves from the yacht to the marina and car. I was dressed in a suit, because when we travel business class with the airline, we are representing the airline and they are very strict on attire. The rain bucketed down on us, and the marina was a good 200 metres away.
Kevin finally just lost it. He got really angry; the pressure that had been building up inside him for all those tension-filled days had finally reached its limit. We somehow managed to get to the car, dragging my suitcases and our umbrellas. We made it to the airport on time, and I was able to get on a flight, as staff and siblings are always on stand-by. We parted tearfully.
