I am passionate about Taekwondo. I adore the sport. It keeps me focused and helps me unwind. It’s hard to believe that kicking and learning to fight can actually be relaxing, but to me nothing can take away my stress as quickly as going to Taekwondo class.
I was up for my Blue Belt. I had dreamt for about that day for a long time, because this would take me from the junior grades into the senior ranks. I trained every day, taking myself to a cliff up high in Manly and practicing my patterns over and over. Each time we grade, we have to learn a new “Poomsei” -- a range of moves that depict certain fighting stances and moves.
When my grading day arrived, I felt very calm, considering the challenge. I felt ready to tackle this new goal in my life.
The grading was at 6 p.m., but just to make sure, around 1 p.m. I decided to go check what time I should be there. To my horror, I realised that I had gotten the time wrong – the grading was set for 3 p.m., not 6 p.m.! My God, I nearly missed it! This was a significant goal for me; it meant everything.
I had even been planning a speech commemorating this event to use in my business as a motivational speaker. Here was a significant milestone in my life, and I nearly missed it! But then again, I considered something: By now my belief in The Law of Attraction was etched into my soul. It didn’t matter that I had somehow had gotten the time wrong; the point was, the Universe was looking after me by sending me to recheck the time. I would never have missed this grading because I had been visualizing it so intently.
I ironed my uniform, dressed, and kissed Emma. I told her I would return in four hours. She was happy mucking around on the Internet, and off I went.
My nerves were starting up, but I kept my breathing even and steady. I knew all my Poomsei (patterns) back to front, but naturally I was nervous, and I worried I might forget something or just completely go blank.
When I was warming up I noticed that the Dojang (training place) was filling up with quite an audience. I tried to ignore them and practiced my Poomsei like an expert; I was pleased. I was the most senior in both belt rank and age grading in this class of 18.
Everything went well. When I was up with the other belts I did my moves perfectly, although I could not keep my hands from shaking.
Next, it was time to display the Poomsei. I tried not to worry because I knew I would be up with two other people. Wrong! They made me get up by myself, which filled me with anxiety. I was told to do the basic pattern, which went well. Then they asked me to do Taegeuk Il Jang, but in my head I thought they meant Taegeuk Ee Jang. I realised halfway through that something was wrong by the way sah bum nim, my instructor, looked at me. Again they asked me to do Taegeuk Ee Jang, and again, I did Taegeuk Il Jang. Then they asked me to do Taegeuk Sam Jang, which they also made me perform twice. By this time, I was pretty much falling apart.
Finally, my turn was over, and it was only then that I realised that I had performed the wrong pattern. Nonetheless, I had to keep moving ahead. I did the rest of the grading with a heavy heart, trying not to think that they might fail me. I had trained so hard for this and wanted it so badly.
Thankfully, the rest of the grading went well. I was excellent at the fitness test. Then came the mighty board breaks. I had to watch 18 other people who were scheduled ahead of me break their boards. I was last because I was the only Senior Belt.
I watched as the first three broke their boards. Then the fourth girl couldn’t do it. She was a good martial artist, a White Belt, but very polished. She cried when she was told to sit down. More students failed at breaking their boards.
As this was happening, instead of allowing my anxiety levels to hit the roof, I sat visualizing and hearing my board break over and over. I focused only on breaking my board and tried not to worry about those who could not break theirs.
The student before me was a very tall, strong woman, and a very focused martial artist. I was sure she would whack through her board like it was paper. She did a side kick, as that was the kick she had to perform to earn her Belt. I could not believe it when she didn’t break her board. I kept visualizing myself breaking my board, even though I worried that my much bigger, stronger classmate had not managed to break hers.
I had to just sit and keep reminding myself that it is not strength, but properly executed technique, that breaks boards. So, I just kept visualizing, over and over.
After what seemed like an eternity, I was called up. I was calm and had accepted what would be, would be. I positioned my holders, and the Master called me over for some last-minute instruction. I had two practice turns to get my distance right, just small taps. Then sah bum nim Jason said to me, “Just do it, Debbie.” When I heard his voice, I calmly turned around, yelled out as we must do, and broke the board like it was a piece of cotton candy. It was so empowering, so surreal. And I felt absolutely fantastic!
The patterns did not cause me to fail my grading, and two days later when the Belts were handed out in class, I felt a deep sense of great gratitude and emotion.
As is anything in life, if you have the skills and learn the technique, you can achieve anything.
