For Emma and Grace,
For there is no love like that of a mother,
For all you have been through with me
I love and respect you.
Acknowledgements
I must first thank my parents, Eddie and Sylvia Doran, for without the life skills they taught me, I would not be doing what I am today. I am grateful to my father for passing on his mental strength and persistence to me, his only daughter; and to my mother, for being such an incredibly resilient person. I love you both.
To my brothers, Kevin Doran and Eamonn Doran: You boys are my rock.
To my ex husband, Andrew Carr: Thank you for being the best father any child could ever wish for. Your dedication to Emma and Grace is something I will live with in my heart for eternity. I also thank you for being my best friend, despite it all. Now you have joined the Club and my heart bleeds for you. How you have held yourself together for what you have been through amazes me. If only you knew how important you are to me.
This book is also for Emma Carr, my eldest daughter. Your beauty and love fill me with joy. Thank you for putting up with all the hard years. Darling, you deserve everything you have in life and more. I know you know ‘The Secret,’ because abundance has always been your natural state of being.
Grace Carr, enough words cannot be said about you, darling. You are an inspiration to me, and I know that everywhere you go, your generous soul will leave a great imprint on this planet. I feel you are an old soul Grace, who has come to this planet to teach many great things.
Natalie Doran, my only niece, darling you can be anything you want in life. You must never hold on to your past – just let out your wings and fly.
Liam Doran my only nephew, you are such a joy to be around. Use those handsome good looks and your wit wisely.
Tanya Harris,you are the sister God forgot to give me when I was growing up. You inspire me beyond words, my best friend, my business partner, my mentor. You know how to embrace life, live in the now and have fun....thank you and I feel blessed to have you in my life.
Ron Lee , you believed in me when I temporarily stopped believing in myself. Thank you also for bringing out the “coyote” in me.
Patrick Breen, thank you for that one sentence. It got me back on track.
LVH, thank you! I actually hope you never read this manuscript as I know what you think about my 'way out' beliefs. I love you deeply, you enrich my life - that's all you need to know.
Jonar Nader – your endless questioning of the purpose of this book and coming up with the title.
Michelle Eckles – my assistant who taught me how to delegate and let go! Thank you Michelle for your endless support and friendship.
Catherine Van Herrin. Thank you for your guidance and editing. I am blessed to have found such a talented editor – I am even more blessed to have found such a wonderful new friend.
My first sah bumnim Gary Simmons who introduced me to Taekwondo and passed on his passion for the art to his student. For Sah bum nim Jason and Sah bum nin Annie Smith. My current instructors – thank you for your ongoing encouragement and patience. I feel like part of your family.
I also acknowledge everyone who has lost a loved one to suicide. I truly feel your pain. I also acknowledge those of you who have contemplated it but realised it was not the right choice. To those who have come and gone before the rest of us, finding that they could not cope any more with their struggles in this life, I dedicate my deepest prayers and love to you.
And finally, I thank you, Gary Steven (Gaz) Doran alias ‘Mars Solar’ You are my brother, my inspiration, the catalyst of change in my life. Without you, this book would never exist. As I write this today, with tears streaming down my face, I can honestly stand with pride and say to the world that I fulfilled the promise I made to you – and to myself -- when I gave your eulogy. Gary, here is your art in print -- for the world to see. I will love you for all eternity.
2010: Pamela Carr (Stevens) you influenced my life - a wonderful, beautiful person and mother-in-law. RIP.
